The focus of February is Valentine’s Day and romantic love, but there are so many kinds of love in our world.
By Rebecca Nidey
Everything I Need To Know I Learned In A Haunted House
The ancient Greeks narrowed the definitions of love down to four basic types:
EROS is the one most associated with love. It represents the intimate passion of sexual yearning. In fact, the word erotic is derived from it.
AGAPE is the brotherly/sisterly love of the spiritual and selfless kind.
PHILIA is the form of affectionate love reserved for friends.
STORGE is the love of family, most especially shared by parents and children.
Love is not a tangible emotion, no matter what form it takes. You can neither see it, nor touch it. It only becomes tangible when you act on it. The fact that someone we love has passed into spirit does not mean that we have to stop those tangible acts of love.
As I was doing research for this column, I found a quote that “spoke” to me. The writer Nishan Panwar wrote:
“Love and Death are two uninvited guests, when they come, nobody knows, but both do the same work, one takes heart and the other takes its beats.”
Having experienced the death of many loved ones, I agree with that message; my heart felt as if it had stopped beating when theirs did.
I have a hobby that very few of even my closest friends know about… I collect mourning jewelry. Just as stone monuments at their gravesites commemorate the life and death of a person, mourning jewelry does the same in a much more personal manner.
Although mourning jewelry has been around since the 16th century, it became more prevalent during the Victorian Era. After the death of the British Prince Albert in 1861, Queen Victoria and her court wore mourning black clothing and jewelry till her death. It became the norm in the United States to do the same.
Many pieces of this jewelry were made of jet black glass, vulcanite, bog oak and some gemstones to reflect the darkness of grief. Some, however, were made of more personal components. Bracelets, necklaces, lockets, rings and watch chains were often fashioned of braided hair. If possible, the hair was that of the deceased loved one, but if not, something else personal was incorporated into the pieces such as a portrait or their initials.
The jewelry also held many “hidden” symbols pertaining to the deceased and the feelings of those left behind. Flowers were a popular theme. Forget-Me-Nots were a reminder to honor the memory of the deceased. If the flower was a bud, the deceased was a child. A half opened flower meant a teenager and a fully opened one indicated a young adult. Even the stones embedded in the piece had a message. The first letters of each stone would spell out the feelings of those wearing the jewelry: Diamond, Emerald, Amethyst, Ruby, Emerald, Sapphire, and Topaz… DEAREST. One beautiful mourning ring I have in my collection has five tiny flowers on it, an indication that the mother who owned it had lost five children.
In the present time, we still have mourning jewelry, but it has taken a different, but no less, meaningful turn. I have heard of the ashes of cremated loved ones being held in lockets or even made into diamonds to be worn. That gives a whole new meaning to the slogan “Diamonds Are Forever.” Several years ago, one of my nephews passed very suddenly while in his thirties. My wonderful sister-in law Jill, his mother, turned to her faith in God to help her cope with her loss. This faith led her to help comfort others after their losses by creating a living memorial… jewelry and other items made from the funeral bouquets. Others who have suffered a loss (myself included) have tattoos created in the memory of our loved ones.
To be honest, grief is a very personal matter, we all handle it in our own way. Whether we wear a piece of jewelry or a tattoo in honor of our loved ones who have passed into spirit, we always carry our grief as well.
As far as love and the paranormal, it is my belief that love has fueled many hauntings. It could be love for a person or persons, a duty, a belief or even a place. I do not want to seem to dispute a religious belief about death or the evidence that other paranormal investigators have found, so I will state that these are my personal beliefs and present them to your for your consideration.
If possible, love can be one of the reasons that spirits linger or return. We long to be with our loved ones who have passed. Doesn’t it seem reasonable to believe that the unique part of them that made them who they were, that special spark, might wish to be with us also. The love of home, church, or organizations can draw those in spirit also. Even a love of country and ‘brother/sisters in arms’ can explain the active and intelligent hauntings at battle sites and military installations. The supposition is that a residual haunting is caused by the strong imprint of emotion or activities. Love most certainly is that!
One of my prized possessions is a copy of the script from the movie “Ghost.” It was signed by the major stars of the movie and is a poignant reminder of the death of one of them, Patrick Swayze. As I wrote this column, my mind kept going to one of my favorite scenes. Love had held Sam, the character played by Patrick, from passing into spirit after his murder. As Sam is finally ready to pass into the light he tells his love, Molly, and the medium Oda Mae something along the lines that when you pass on, you take the love inside you with you in the passage. I would like to take this thought a little further. Not only do you take the love inside with you, you leave some of it behind. Even as we mourn those that we love who have passed, we should honor and cherish the love and memories they have left with us.
I would like to dedicate this column to all those we have loved who have passed into spirit. May we continue to keep their memories close to our hearts and spirits and share the love they have left behind.
About the Author:
Through her work on the investigative team for the Crawford County Illinois Ghost Hunters, Rebecca Nidey has an understanding of the paranormal, spiritual, and metaphysical worlds and how they work together.
Rebecca has trained in the Healing Touch technique (a form of energy healing). She is a certified Psychic Medium trained by Belle Salisbury, and she is a certified Paranormal Researcher.
Rebecca is the associate editor for Bellesprit Magazine and also writes a column titled Everything I Need To Know I Learned In A Haunted House. She has been a co-host of several radio programs for the Haunted Voices Radio Network and HeyZ Radio Network highlighting the Paranormal, metaphysical and literary fields.
To learn more about Rebecca or to schedule a reading you can contact her at https://www.facebook.com/rebecca.nidey.
