Relationship with Self is the hub of the wheel of our lives.
By Jacquelyn Lunger
We find ourselves in the reflection of all the people who bring insights, order, chaos, direction, guidance, joy, education, health, mindfulness, pain, love, etc. to us.
The images aren’t always genuine and we learn that as well. Some significant relationships are transient, while others last throughout many decades. Why does separation hurt when we move apart sometimes? We also recognize the sense of freedom and relief that comes when a conflict riddled relationship ends by any variety of methods because we know we have rescued ourselves.
In our early years we attempt to conform to the pressures that our significant others exert upon us. They mean well. Parents, teachers, extended family are usually hoping to help to mold us into a capable person who is fulfilling a worthwhile role in society. They know our history and believe we need their attention, or do they/we?
We all come into ourselves at a rate of growth that we are prepared for prior to the current lifetime. We are all challenged to redirect the force others exert upon us at some point as we begin to mature into the person we are intended to be in this incarnation. The theory of the Circle of Extension is a term I coined back in undergrad philosophy class.
See yourself newborn; whole and undefined, like an egg in the center of a circle of people who are playing important roles in your life. Initially that egg is encased and the pressures exerted upon it are few and they are soft and gentle. Your egg rolls about just slightly, like a green leaf securely attached to a branch in the wind. If too much pressure is exerted too soon the egg is threatened with cracks and seepage or perhaps even extinction.
The choices available to a new, defenseless egg are totally dependent on the relationships in its circle of extensions. Is there someone who will deflect and defend the innocent egg from too much force by another, or will dreaded harm be done? If the injury is only happening to the shell, what change if any will result to the Self within the egg? Can the harm be undone? Is it possible for the injury to become a pivot point that the Self ultimately uses to become stronger, more positive, kinder and more caring of others?
The dichotomy of this scenario is that the egg requires damage to emerge from the protective shell it arrives in. Much as we wish for a completely harmless existence for everyone, free of pain and fear, the journey of becoming our true Self is not ever completely kind and gentle. We have our safe harbors and we know our champions for sure. We also learn not to trust everyone, not to trust even ourselves in some situations.
Life is a series of experiences; some break us apart, some fortify us in preparation for the next challenging assault. The collage assembled is made up of our personal shards. It is our own to piece together along the path to wholeness. Our pile of rubble waits patiently for us to come back to it again and again, stronger each time, and better able to handle a deeper layer of our past. Interacting with our broken parts brings change; periods of becoming more beautiful, periods of more sadness and doubt.
Can we ever fully recover from the brokenness we are aware of? Recover has a variety of meanings to people. I suggest that the word is appropriate to material items but not to people in most situations. I know from my personal experience, and that of many clients, recovering the chards is the best we can achieve.
The past cannot be changed so I discourage people from replaying their painful experiences too frequently. I suggest that we gather the gold shards, remnants of our old existence, and make something better than the past with them.
Stages of wellness, wholeness and understanding are to be welcomed. The quote, “and this too shall pass” is useful in all situations. Our emotions are useful but they are momentary and we need to remember that. Life is progressive and transient so celebrate it! It is our emotions that cause stuck-ness and make progress challenging. Many are the choices of methods to alter our emotional perspectives. Try one and then another if you aren’t satisfied with the first result.
What could possibly make the life journey worthy of all the twists, detours, pain, love, disappointments and fear we must face and survive to continue? The answers change as we mature, just as our goals, values and responses to others change. Accept that we are all changing constantly, revolving around each other like the planets in our solar system.
We are not able to refuse to participate in this plane or another. One is not able to cease to be but we can change forms and planes. We are energy and energy cannot be destroyed. Knowing that truly allows us to live more fully. Enjoy the journey!
About the Author:
Jacqueline Lunger has been serving those on the bridge of life for more than thirty years, she is an ordained spiritualist minister, certified psychic medium, healer and author of the non-fiction, eBook “There’s DNA to Prove It, message from beyond.” She can be reached for appointments and speaking engagements by email, jackielunger@gmail.com or skype 910 546 9603.
