Hello, and thank you for joining me here again; I’m honored for sure. It’s quiet and peaceful in my humble home as I write to you this morning. Thankfully, my family likes to sleep in on the weekends but I’m more of an early bird so I have this time to become thoughtful and reflective as I channel this message to you.
I’m glad that it’s just you and me here in this moment because I would like to become very honest and a bit raw about something I’ve discovered about myself lately. I want to enter a deep and dark part of myself and I hope you will follow along without too much judgement of me. In fact, the reason I’m including you on this journey of self-reflection is because my intuition is telling me that you may be feeling the same way. If you are so inclined to be honest with yourself you may find that the same is true for you. Please allow yourself to be and I promise I won’t judge either.
My story starts February 10th, 2017. My incredible wife Lisa is a gifted psychic-medium and trance channel. Every second Friday of the month we invite people into our home and Lisa channels messages from Spirit to the attentive group. It’s always a time of great love and healing for everyone present. On the aforementioned evening, perhaps two hours before the group arrived Lisa and I were agreeing that a subtle change in the energy of the planet was taking place. We had been feeling it for a while but now we were acknowledging it in earnest. This small but significant shift in The Force was affecting us and we had to seriously pay attention. We felt strongly that it was time for us to pull our energy back into ourselves and for a time, not send it out to others. The strange thing is… we didn’t know why but we had to honor the calling. That evening was the last open channel session we would offer until the time felt right to continue. Now, the months have passed and we’ve both gone through a period of introspection as the winter months came to a close. Personally, I’ve barely functioned at my job because I’ve been extremely tired and disconnected even to the point where unnecessary conversations were a struggle. The sensation of being very ungrounded and disconnected was unshakable and when I was home I just wanted to sleep the time away.
I’m no stranger to empathing the energy of the planet and have for a number of years so I’m accustomed to letting these shifts come and go without much worry but this change did concern me a bit. When I began to be observant of the length of this shift I started to ask myself what this all had to do with me. How am I being impacted and how am I changing, what is this experience about and what is the lesson to be learned?
For several years I’ve been on a journey of discovering the origin of consciousness as well as uncovering the true nature of myself as a spiritual being. This has led me into so many wondrous and amazing avenues as the world of Spirit slowly divulged itself to me. I have grown strong in my intuition and even found that I have a gift for teaching others the lessons I have learned through the pain as well as the joy of finding out what makes me tick. All in all, I felt pretty good about myself riding a wave of love and light but leading up to February a dark cloud began forming in the sky ahead. My intuition began to fade and my wisdom if you will, began to dull. My empathy for others was shutting down and my window to spirit began to close. When Lisa and I walked through a consciousness expo in our home town I felt as dead as a stone to the swirls of energy that envelope these events. This caused me some concern but what could I do but ride it out. So, for months I had avoided many people and refused to give my energy to anyone. I walked away from as much drama as possible and slept away my afternoon hours when I could. Then in late April it hit me, it’s not that I’m being deadened from emotions and withdrawn from spirit but being “spiritual” has for quite some time, kept me from visiting those places inside myself that are a little dark and scary. Seeking higher consciousness had become a major distraction from continuing to heal the hurtful places that have been lurking patiently deep inside. It’s here that I humbly admit that I have, in a sense, fooled myself into thinking that I have become so enlightened that I have transcended my fears and pain. I felt I had done most of the work I needed to do on myself and could cruise free and clear without a care. What a dope I have been! I blinded myself with my own light. Caught in a trap of my own ego again. Ego can be a real bastard if you’re not careful and mine snared me in a web that I myself had created. Spirit has a way of getting our attention, that’s for sure. It starts with a gentle nudge and if we’re not getting the hint that nudge can turn into a right hook!
So, I feel like I’m finally understanding what’s happening but I also see that the same energy that is affecting me seems to be impacting humanity as a whole. I’ve talked to perhaps twenty other people and they also are saying that the energy on the planet has become very difficult to deal with. My intuition is telling me that this will ease around mid-summer but for now it’s a time for some hard lessons. Personally, I think that we are being given a great push into higher consciousness and we can’t move forward personally as well as collectively until we can heal ourselves and each other from the pain and fear that resides deep inside us.
A thought came to mind recently. I believe it’s true that very few of us have been given the tools to objectively work through our traumas and fears. In fact, the people who were closest to us as children should have been the ones to help us with this, but it turns out that no one had taught them these skills and now that these folks produced children of their own they become the ones who visit these injuries upon their kids. Not always, but much of the time. It’s usually in these young years where we learn that we are less than, we learn that we are never good enough. We learn to be judged and to judge others. We learn to inflate our egos as a defense and use that ego to injure others. Geez, it’s a wonder any of us can even function as adults! I must say that as grown-ups we are a savvy bunch. Instead of seeing our pain honestly and working through it we have come up with all kinds of clever ways to function with our fears and injury instead of working through them.
Now back to the reason I’m writing to you today. As I’ve faced this difficult time of ungrounded disconnection I’ve seen the ugliness of my own deep-seated fears, prejudices, and anger boiling to the surface. My strategy has been to let them play out in my mind and even express them aloud when I’m in a safe environment. I’m careful not to unleash them on others personally because that would bring pain to those who don’t deserve it. Instead, I’ve relied on the aid of a loving wife and a few close friends. I’ll get through it and so will you if you remain honest with yourself, as much as you can at least. It’s tough being human for sure. If it were easy we wouldn’t come to the planet at this time to play out this drama.
If you happen to notice, as humans we go through these tough personal times in waves. As the fears crop up we deal with them a little at a time. It’s painful for sure but then we seem to coast for a spell as we heal from this pain. We have taken a small bite out of our troubles and we need a while to digest it. Unfortunately, it usually comes back at a later time. It sends us a reminder that it is still lurking below and challenges us to take another bite as we continue to work through it. For many folks, this is the safest way to cope with heavy injury. To take it on all at once would just be too much to handle. It’s the game of life for humans, you and me alike. Let’s reach out to help each other when the need arises but let’s not forget to work on ourselves first. By learning the skills yourself, you’re much better prepared to teach them to others.
Thanks for listening as I open my heart to you about this very personal journey. I hope you’ve learned something about this fellow human and I hope you’ve realized something about yourself.
Keep moving forward folks and I’ll do the same, Patrick