The first time I met Hart, I was in awe of his ability to communicate. He possessed a level of confidence that bordered on intimidating but at the same time was very inviting. Sadly, at that time of my life I was shy, unable to open my mouth and speak my mind and wanted to hide under a table if asked to speak publicly. Of course, I thought I was the only one afflicted by this. I did not know how to smile, and I certainly would not have taken over the room as he did. I did admire this individual; envied would be a better word. He did not seem to worry if people would like him, he was not worried about saying the wrong thing, and he showed no outward signs of distress, at least to someone who was afraid of her own shadow. Then as I sat in a workshop one afternoon many years ago, the class was presented with a question. “If you take away all of your roles and are only left with your identity, what would you rate yourself on a scale of 1-10”? Ironically, no one in the class said ten. As the presenter explained the concept of what they were teaching something inside me started to make sense and my journey to discovering ‘self’ began and I realized Hart had been put on my path for a reason.
The Role versus Identity exercise helped me to understand that my roles did not define me and that failing as a coach to win the game did not make me less of a person. Failing as a daughter because I forgot my mom’s birthday did not make me less of a person either, nor did shouting out the wrong answer to a verbal quiz as a student. As souls we incarnate on this earth and play many roles. Parents, siblings, coaches, homemakers, business owners, teachers, students and the list can go on and on. But none of these roles define who we are or our value as a soul. We incarnate in order to learn and teach not in a role such as that of an elementary teacher but to awaken to our full potential as a soul. We are all unique expressions of each other, reflections, unique expressions of a whole.
Most of my life people have just dropped in out of nowhere and suddenly they were a part of my world it seemed. I used to wonder where these people came from, especially the ones that really got under my skin. The ones that made me wonder where all the Karma was coming from. Then there were those that I immediately connected with and felt I had known forever. And as YOU are reading this, you are nodding your head because you know, because you have been there. Whenever you meet someone or have an encounter of some sort you will have one of three experiences. The experience will either be positive, negative or neutral. In each case, the experience is like a mirror or a reflection back to you in order to provide feedback. These other people that are a part of our experience are the mirror of those things we need to know about ourselves. Those qualities we need to expand upon or those aspects that we need to work on letting go of. It took many years for me to realize that getting to know these drop-in’s on a level of awareness was a way to get to know myself. They were placed on my path by Spirit in order to teach or to be taught and they were not an accident; but were in fact a very carefully orchestrated plan. What I am going to share with you might be difficult for many to accept, however, I assure you the journey becomes a grand adventure once you become aware that these people are reflections of you.
Everyone is talking about the Ascension process, the Quickening or the Awakening and the rate at which everything is speeding up. There was a time when we might have only interacted with a handful of people and with the internet based social platforms we now interact with thousands of people on a daily basis. The opportunities for growth and expansion have accelerated. The individuals that you encounter that anger or irritate you will be your greatest teachers. Most people become too emotionally engaged and start reacting when angered or irritated and this shuts off the power of awareness and observation. The ego steps in and blocks the ability to see ourselves in the other. The ego is like a vampire and everyone knows a vampire cannot see their own reflection. However, when you dismiss the ego and the need to be right you in effect maintain your power and are able to observe the situation and sometimes see yourself in the other person. During an argument, when you do this it enables you to respond rather than react. This type of awareness is difficult and takes practice. One question is all you have to ask yourself to open your awareness. When your anger or irritation is sparked by the actions of someone else, whether directly or indirectly; the most powerful question you can ask yourself immediately is “how am I like this”? The moment you ask yourself the question you step out of the situation and become an observer rather than a participant and have the opportunity to reflect upon what you witnessed. The ego likes to judge in order to feel validated and if you practice this frequently enough, you will begin to work from your higher self and less from your ego; operating from a place of compassion rather than judgment. Because we are all unique expressions of the whole and when we judge others we judge ourselves.
When I reflect back on the day I met Hart, I clearly see how I judged him by his role as my business coach. His ability to communicate did not define him, it merely illustrated the years he had practiced his trade. Over time as I worked with Hart I found that we shared the same struggles, the same aspirations and the only thing that separated us was our own unique expression of identity. Our roles in life today may differ, our aspirations may even be different, but the reflection when I look at Hart is me. I no longer envy Hart but am grateful for the years he coached me along my business career and for the friendship that we have now. I truly enjoy this human experience; the experience of discovering who I am and why I am here. This classroom we call earth is an amazing place to learn filled with rich and rewarding experiences that can leave you scratching your head in wonder or awakening to your purpose. And believe me when I tell you, the choice is all yours.
Hart Davidow is Business Consultant in Central New York.
Find me on my website at www.newbeginningsholisticwellness.com