In the Dreamtime: Dreaming of Fighting off a Deceased Ex-husband’s Sexual Advances


Are these reader’s dreams of fighting off intimacy from her deceased ex-husband, actual visitations or recurring dreams? Continue to read to find out.


I keep having dreams of my ex-husband, who passed away in 2012. The dreams are mostly where he is trying to be intimate with me and I am fighting him off. I do feel his spirit. Three weeks ago, after one of these dreams, I deleted the pictures from the trip we took before he passed. I figured his spirit was hiding in my computer and then I gave my place a good smudging. Deleting the pictures and smudging helped get rid of the spirit. (Yeah, I know temporarily)

So, I had another dream last night. Yeah, he was trying to be intimate and I was trying to get away. I had something in my hand like a remote control or mouse… because I was trying to do something. Then, it fell out of my hands. I must have been in water because it was wet (whoops) and it changed color.

Is there an issue or lesson that I am supposed to learn or heal from? Or is my ex’s spirit showing up because he hasn’t made the transition to the other side yet?


sex in dreamThere is a possibility that your ex-husband’s spirit hasn’t crossed over yet; however, this is not my area of expertise, nor can I sense his energy the way that you do. Whether or not this is the meaning of the dream, I would suggest that not only smudge your home, but also ask Archangel Michael and whoever else you feel comfortable with to remove any unwanted negativity or spirits from your place. This will not only bring serenity into your home, it will determine if this was the true meaning of your dreams.

These dreams you are having could also be recurring dreams, which means there is an issue(s) that needs to be resolved. The energy I do pick up on your ex-husband is he had plenty of unhealed emotional, mental, and spiritual wounds, plus some form of addiction (I keep seeing bottles of alcohol). This caused some havoc in your marriage; therefore, these recurring dreams are pointing out you still have after effects from this relationship that need to heal.

Since the dream theme is him attempting to force himself sexually, your dreams could be about memories of his sexual and/or physical behavior during the marriage. Sex could also be symbolic of control and power in your dreams, for this is what most acts of rape are really about. Was your ex a control freak or did he feel powerless?

Another way to look at your recurring dreams is that your ex-husband is being used as a symbol for another man, due to the fact it is easier for you to face these facts in your life without admitting who the true perpetrator is, whether this happened in the past or recently. Remember, this doesn’t necessarily mean actual sex. Is there someone else in your past or today, who is trying to take advantage of you, or you feel is attempting to violate you?

The good news about these dreams, regardless if it’s recurring or actual visitation, is that you’re fighting off your attacker. When you are defending yourself shows the symbolism of self-preservation, strong boundaries, and not taking the abuse. What area in your past or today are you taking back your power? Also, the meaning of the remote control/mouse falling from your wet, slippery hands and turning color is showing how you’re taking more control of your life, even though you may slip up at times. You being wet and the changing mouse/remote colors are symbolic of your process of cleansing and changing.

Let’s answer your question about whether or not there is an issue or lesson that you’re supposed to heal/learn from; the Earth is a giant schoolroom and so are the dreams of the nighttime. Yes to both resolving an issue to heal and learn from. Only you can determine what that is. Even if it was just your ex-husband’s spirit, you were still affected by it. Please take some quiet time to reflect, go within, or journal in order to determine the area it is and how to resolve it. Hopefully, the different interpretations I gave you have paved the way.

To learn more about dreams, Pamela Cummins’ book Learn the Secret Language of Dreams, and get the free gift How to Remember Your Dreams, please visit    If you have questions about dreams or need a dream interpreted for the column, please email



About Author

Pamela Cummins

Column: Love Channel | The High Priestess of Love, Pamela Cummins, can assist you in your love life, relationships, self-growth, and dream interpretation. She works with Angels and Guides and uses her psychic abilities of clairaudience, clairsentience, and clairvoyance to shine the light on your path. Her unique coaching and mentoring skills gives you the manifestation toolbox to achieve your goals. Pamela’s clients refer to her as the “Musical Psychic” because she often receives messages in the form of song lyrics. You can read her two monthly columns in Bellesprit Magazine and listen to her radio show “The Love Channel Show.” She is the author of Psychic Wisdom on Love and Relationships, Insights for Singles: Steps to Find Everlasting Love, and the free eBook Pamela’s Love Collection. Learn more at her website and follow her on Twitter at


  1. What a great question, Sharon. If the deceased has gone into the light they’re not attached to Earthly things, although they may miss them. They could miss being able to hug their loved ones. However, if someone has passed, didn’t cross to the other side, then they are stuck in the Earth plane with Earthly addictions, cravings, and unprocessed emotions. I hope that makes things clearer.

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