Ever felt you are letting everyone down? Perhaps not working hard enough to get that all important promotion at work? Maybe you feel your family are disappointed in your achievements? Sound familiar? You’re suffering from guilt.
We feel guilty when we think we have done something wrong. We worry endlessly over our perceived failures and judge ourselves to be guilty. Guilt is such a powerful emotion that arises from two separate areas; our relationships with loved ones and the type of guilt that comes from high expectations, either of ourselves or from others. Sometimes we set personal goals too high and have impossible targets to reach.
Guilt feelings also create inferiority and inadequacy. This then leads to a lack of confidence which can have detrimental effects on physical and mental health. We can experience a sense of shame and try to combat this by over-trying or working too hard. Perhaps we feel we have let our partners, our family or our employers down?
Lack of self-confidence can result in heart disease, stomach ulcers, asthma, skin conditions, high blood pressure amongst many others.
Mental exhaustion can cause panic attacks, lethargy and depression.
To combat this, you should try to view yourself in a positive way. Think of your success and not your perceived failures. You are probably much stronger than you think you are. Do not spend unnecessary time dwelling on your weaknesses and not your strengths.
List all your good points, physical and mental. You will be surprised at how many you have when you consider them.
Keep things in proportion. Never imagine what others are thinking about you. Keep a sensible perspective on your personal judgements.
Try to re-frame what you see as your failures. For example, being a little obsessional means you pay attention to detail. Being shy means you are sensitive.
Think of the worst-case scenario. Is it really as bad as you think?
Never take rejection personally.
List your assets and see how much you have accomplished.
List all the things you think you are really bad at. Then try to find a solution to changing each one into something positive.
Not everyone wants you to be a success. Some people prefer you to fail in order to make themselves feel more important.
Never be ashamed of your mistakes. They are simply opportunities for learning.
Accept your limitations and don’t go beyond your capabilities. Everyone else has them!
Reference, Mindpower by Vernon Coleman,